Will he ever reply?

[wickedwill]

oh yeah and what henry said about parents and how you will feel about them in various stages of your life are words that are worthy of a pulitzer or something well said henry

[entertainus]

Well, school isn't really my thing... My plans are, after high school, go to Seattle with my friend Matt, and we're going to see what we can do with our band, and then if that does nothing, i'll probably go to a tech. college and then find some kind of job, and start from there. We're probably going to be pretty big bums, but it'll be okay.
The problem with having fun and being a kid for me is that I have no one to have fun with. I know i can have fun just by myself, but it's better to have someone. All my friends either ditched me or i ditched them because they didn't like me and i didn't like them. I do wish i were a little kid again so i didn't have responsibilities and i wouldn't need to do anything, but, i'm 14.

[Anonymous]

If education is not your thing all you need to remember is these words and you will get by in life just fine. Remember to ask if they want to supersize thier meal and if they want salt,pepper and ketchup. Good Luck!!

[entertainus]

A lot of people that don't go to college are actually very successful...

[Anonymous]

Yes true alot of people who avoid college are successful. But most are just struggling to get by. Working at burgerking is not so bad alot of folks probley drive off and leave the food behind, just like that your grocery bill is solved. Why aim high? Just aim for the golden arches.

[Disfranchise]

But most people don't have talent and dream of well paid ordinary jobs.
If you've got talent and heart then go for it. Let nothing stop you. There are too many people without talent and heart that make it.
It's these people that should be serving us hamburgers and hot dogs.
Perhaps I'm too much of an idealist but there ARE people who get by living on their art. Life is too short and too boring to care about anything but love and happiness. These things will get you through anything IF you really believe and feel it (which may be harder than you think). If you find and seek the things that makes you happy, then you've got a life worth living, a REAL life. If you are really happy, then you are not afraid and if you're not afraid you can do anything.



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[wickedwill]

good point disfranchise!!! the point i was making was in the good old united states the general mentality is eat or be eaten. there are folks who who care but for everyone with a kind heart there is 1000 of them with a unkind heart who is willing to piss all over you just to get ahead. and yes follow your dream 100% but educate yourself 110% is the point i want entetainus especially to see.

[Henry Long]

Thanks for the compliment, wickedwill.
I was just summing up my own experiences with the ages/attitude thing, but I guess the more personal the statement, the more universal the truth. Or something along those lines.

This thread has been facinating for a number of reasons.
I think one of the more interesting motivations, in terms of our responses to entertainus, has been the idea of being 14 again!

Which one of us honestly wouldn't want to go back, with all that we know now (all that crap we had to go through in order to get wherever the hell we are) and live it over again, even for just a moment?!

It's a curious fantasy, but I must admit, it's as much appealling as it is revolting.

(Jeez. Just the thought of having to take gym class all over again is enough to make me violently ill...)

(Then again, I can think of more than a few instances I'd like to do-over!)

(At least I know I'd look at Miss Yanus, our 9th grade English student- teacher, a little differently...hmmmm...)


...right...

Hey! Countdown to Gammon Tribute Press release!!! Yay!

[entertainus]

I need advice... again.

I know this is just a typical thing to happen to a 14 year old, to get into a little squabble with friends. But here's what's been depressing me for the past week or so:

My best friend, (matt) and i met this nice girl named shalane. We all became friends, and then about 2 months ago, matt fell in love with shalane. Well... a high school crush, but a big one. He writes her name on his jeans and probably writes love poems at home. And it all sickens me! I can't stand to see my only two friends in love. Matt is always blowing me off for her, and i honestly haven't talked to him in about 4 days. One of the only things I thought i would have as long as i live, matt, is now drifting away from me. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but either way I don't know what to do.

I have tried everything, but now it's down to this: Yesterday and today at school, I have avoided him and not talked to anyone (matt or shalane), I am hoping that Matt will realize that if he stays in love with shalane, i'm not going to be able to live with him. But I've been thinking about what Daniel wrote to me: "Do what's right". I don't think the "silent treatment" is the right thing to do. THis is a very big and complicated situation, and it would take two months to type everything that's been happening with matt, but I just want to know what I should do that would be right.
I just want you to take into consideration that I cannot stand matt, whether we're with shalane or not, since he's in love with her. I know that even if we're in town having fun and stuff, he's still thinking about her, and wishing i were gone and she were there. So just trying to live with it, and let him do what he wants isn't a good choice, ive been trying it for about 2 months, and i've been miserable.

[dejected]

What a coincidence!

This same thing happened on the Simpsons today (probably a re-run)  Milhouse fell in love with this girl and Bart couldn't stand it, and well, they made a whole episode out of that.

So if it's on the Simpsons, (does this follow logically?) it means it must be a "common experience" for a lot of people.

Well, at the point YOU "fall in love" or go google-eyed over some girl, the tables will be turned!   So be a FRIEND at ALL TIMES.  Give him some space - he'll still be your friend.   Do not "react" to the feeling of being neglected by your friend.   That is the green monster "jealousy".  That is a "primal" and normal reaction, but here's where you show maturaty and that gosh awful geeky sounding thing called "empathy" or "understanding" or "compassion".   What is happening to your friend is real and normal and should be expected.  Be HAPPY for him, not selfish about it.

In the Simpsons, Bart works so hard to DESTROY this new relationship of Milhouse that he was playing the role of Milhouses worse enemy!!!   Sad for a friend to think that is "being a friend".

The road of resentment and envy and fleeting loyalties is a dead end and you will find yourself very alone and no where to turn.

If you find others to be fickle in their loyalty, that is a MESSAGE to you that says  "be loyal to my friends and not fickle LIKE them".    The only reason you might become fickle yourself is a form of vindictiveness or spitefulness.   Be a friend to your friends at all times, not just when they do what you want.

THEN You will ALWAYS have many friends in your life since the friendships don't "end" as an enemy.  You'lll just move from firend to new friend and be accumulating lots of friends.  

But if you destroy one friendship because it doesn't go "your way" before you move on, you never have more than one friend at a time, and even that would be more of a parasite relationship.   Love em until you can't feed off them any more?   That's an ugly picture.

Think ahead - 14 is an age of ALL these critical decisions of "what kind of person you I become?"   Choose wisely!

Okay, one more preachy statement:  Do not gauge how good a friend YOU will be based on the WORST of what others may do.   If you do, you will end up being exactly like your worse enemy, and at that point of course, you are your "own worst enemy".

(Fear YOURSELF!).

All, right, I surrender the pulpit to the next guy...

Later!

[wickedwill]

be happy for your friend! he digs a girl and for a young man that can be all consuming. when i was 14 anything with tits and a pulse was mindblowing. wouldnt you feel bad if he did the same by not talking to you if the shoe was on the other foot? at 14 i doubt it has blossomed into true love. matt may think it is but trust me it aint. i mean 14 is such a beautifully awkward age. joey do not take this wrong please but you said this was a big complicated situation but i dont think its as big as it seems.

[entertainus]

Well with Matt and Shalane being my only two friends, and matt always making plan with her, I'm left alone all the time now. And I know he only wants her so he can get into her pants.
And I know matt's plan now, what he's doing is he threw me in "his basement" and then just before i start to forget about him and leave him, he comes down and says Hi, or asks if i want to hang out, so that i don't leave him completely. So I'm completely miserable except for once every two weeks or so, matt feels bad so he asks me to hang out again, and then he's back to shalane for two more weeks. I honestly haven't talked to my best friend in 5 days.

I don't care, I'm finding new friends, he doesn't care about how i feel.

[Disfranchise]

I know exactly how you feel. My best friend found new friends when we chose different schools. I havn't talked to him for like 8 months. I always phoned him but tested if we still would keep in touch if I didn't call him and wanted to see if he would phone me. Well, as it turned out we lost touch.
Having read you posts I realize I have to try and get in touch with him again. There will always be times when there is something inbetween.
Don't let go, don't let go. Don't be a pain in the ass just let him know you're there. When love strikes you then hope he'll do the same for you.

Peace!




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[entertainus]

Well when i fall in love, it won't be with his only other friend, and I won't neglect him or push him away as he has to me.

[entertainus]

Great, i just found out that Shalane has been sending Matt all of my emails I send her. I think i'm finding new friends now, i can't take any more of it. I don't think there's any way i can fix it... i can't trust either of them, they don't want to hang out with me, i don't even classify them as friends. I'm done with them.